A few weeks ago, I did a short reading for someone who is having some family problems. I’ll call her Theresa.

Theresa is a kind, generous, sensitive and open-hearted person who cares deeply about her family and friends but who often seems to be at the centre of relationship strife.

There is usually at least one in-law, son or daughter, sister or close friend who has upset her profoundly. Her reaction can be anguished; angry with stormy tears and a determination never to speak to that person again. This is often followed by a period of self-hatred, depression and a feeling of ‘Why does this always happen to me?’ and ‘What’s the point of giving so much to a friend/family member when they treat me like this?’

We talked about her feelings of hurt and confusion about the latest upset involving her sister-in-law. Theresa had thought that they were close but was now feeling rejected and betrayed after hearing about some remarks her sister-in-law had made.

Her initial reaction was to be angry, soon followed by being deeply hurt and confused. She had thought that everything was fine.  She questioned her own interpretation of events (how she had been so “blind to what a total bitch that woman is”) and finally blamed herself for being “so stupid as to trust anyone because they always stab you in the back.”

Lastly came the feelings of being alone, an outsider – her sister-in-law is a popular member of the family and Theresa feels isolated and as though nobody really understands how she feels – or even cares very much.

Although I won’t describe the whole reading here, it is probably enough to say that the 6 of Cups prompted her to talk about her childhood feelings of rejection and not being good enough; her capable mother and distant father; being bullied at school and always feeling like an outsider, not belonging, not comfortable in a group of people. Her weight has always been an issue for her and adds to her feelings of low self-esteem.

Judgement came up at the end of the reading. It occupied no space or placement. It was just there, and it loomed over the rest of the cards. It felt important and we contemplated it for a while.

Judgement depicts an angel gazing down at naked men women and children who emerge from their graves with arms outstretched. There is a feeling of community here – all differences are thrown aside, and we are One, naked and unadorned. We are equal, with nothing to distinguish us – we leave this world as we came into it. More than this, each of the naked figures is emerging from the same place. We don’t see their feet. They share the same beginnings and the same ending.

For me, the Angel represents The Universe - the infinity of space and time, without beginning or end, which we carry within us and from which we are indivisible. Judgement reminds us that we reach a stage in our journey when we understand the importance of our connection with others; when we feel a part of the whole; when we truly empathise and feel accepted by those we care about. We become part of the family.

This feeling of being part of humanity, society, community, family – of belonging and acceptance – is at the heart of Judgement. Equality is the watchword here. A willingness to see the value in others, to appreciate the Other in all of us, and to realise that everything that makes us special as individuals is also there, in everyone around us, everyone we know, everyone we don’t know.

We are often our harshest critic, our sternest Judge.  We are our own Avenging Angel, unable to face our own weaknesses or forgive our own sins. Judgement is a reminder to be kind and forgiving to ourselves.

For Theresa, Judgement was the sign that although she is truly part of this family, it is her own self-acceptance that is the key. Her response to others is often abrasive and almost rude – but that is her defence against rejection. She needs so much to be accepted by her family and her community that she overreacts to any perceived rejection. We can work on this. She is a loving, capable, strong person. She will learn that she doesn’t have to prove it to anyone. Self-acceptance – for Theresa that is the message of Judgement.

Subsequent readings will show Theresa some ways in which she can work towards self-love and acceptance. It is a journey that I look forward to sharing.

I never share personal information. All the cases that I write about are an amalgam of two or more people that I have worked with and are an illustration of the way Practical Tarot works.