The Fortune Teller by Jean-Claude Bonnefond. Painted in the early 1800s
Asking the question seems simple, doesn't it? But most of us very soon realise that it can be surprisingly hard.
Why is it so important? Because it's the only way to get an answer to your question that makes any sense. Obvious right? But what IS the right question? Well, not asking yes/no and closed questions like, 'Does he love me?' or 'Will I get this job?' is a good start. They will only get you meaningless or completely wrong solutions.
For example, asking "Does he love me?" might be followed by:
The High Priestess - we-ell, it's a bit of a mystery really and is he cheating on me?
The Devil - hmm, is the sex the most important thing to him?
The 2 of Pentacles - aha, now the important question, what are his finances like?
Hey, I'm kidding, of course. But I'm sure you get where I'm going with this.
Oh, and asking anything about the feelings, attitudes or behaviours of someone else is an absolute no-no. Your tarot work is always about YOU.
A good way to reword the question to elicit a really valuable response from the cards might be, "What do I need to know about my relationship?" In a simple 3 card spread we get the same cards as above.
Past - The High Priestess: I realise that I have had some trust issues in the past; feeling jealous and suspecting that he might be cheating on me. But I know that it was just my own insecurities from a bad past relationship and I am working through those now. I think that this defined our relationship for a long time - I needed him to prove that he loved me and I tried too hard. I do trust him now and he knows that.
Present - The Devil: Physically we are great together. He is a wonderful lover. We do have a great time socially, have lots of friends in common and like doing the same things. We do tend to party a bit too much - it's expensive and weekends are just crazy. Sometimes I worry that if the fun stops he'll get bored with me. We both need to give up smoking and perhaps cut down on the drinking.
Future - The Two of Pentacles: I think it's important for us to achieve a balance in our lifestyles. I'd like us to move in together but I haven't wanted to be the first one to suggest it - my old insecurities I guess: I don't want him to feel pressured or anything. My new job means that between us we could afford an apartment nearer the centre of town. I don't want to lose our social life completely because that's important to both of us but he's mentioned us getting a dog so I guess he's really ready to move on to the next stage in our relationship. I might get us a gym membership so we can cut down on the partying and get fit - and walk the dog too. I think we can find a work/life balance that suits us both if we sit down and talk about it.
Re-framing your questions
DON'T ASK: Will I find my soul mate?
DO ASK: What could I be doing to create space/the right conditions for a successful love life. What am I looking for in a soul mate?
DON'T ASK: Will I get a good job?
DO ASK: What do I want out of my job or career? What aspects of this/a job/career are most/least important for me? What do I need to do/know in order to get the job I want?
DON'T ASK: Will all my relationships end badly?
DO ASK: What will help me to make better relationships? What can I learn about the patterns that repeat in my relationships? Why do I lack confidence/feel controlled/become a victim etc in my relationships.
2 of Pentacles from the original Rider Waite Smith tarot deck of 1909
Some Useful Questions to Ask in a Tarot Reading
What do most need to know about: my relationship; my love life; my career; this situation etc.
What am I missing in this situation?
What do I need to take into account when making this choice?
How can I best help my friend/lover/sister/parent etc in this situation?
How are past events affecting me now?
What do I want/fear about the future with regard to my relationship/studies/career/children/housing etc?
What should I consider when making this decision?
What would I like/need to change in order to progress?